I was Born That Way: Letter from a reader

Here at Practical Theologian, we get mail. Here is an example:

Dear John,

I am a Christian, but I am struggling with this one thing. I have struggled with it as long as I can remember. Ever since I was a young boy and I found a Playboy Magazine under my father’s bed, I have loved pornography, and have looked at it in one form or another for the last 15 years. Since my father was a deacon in the local church, I figured it was okay. This started me on a steady diet from my teen years of not only looking at pornography, but having sex with every willing female I can get my hands on. I have had mental issues, and have gone to my pastors about it, and they say that it is okay and natural for a young man to have these issues.

I am married now to a nice Christian girl, and she is about to have our first child. I still look at pornography on the internet and my I phone just about every day. I have had six or seven sexual encounters only in the 8 months we have been married, which is way down from my normal habits. so I think I am doing better. She answered my phone the other day and it was a girl I had just had sex with that I met in a bar. Then she did investigating, and she found all my pornographic pictures I had stashed on my I phone and computer. She is very angry and saying that I am no Christian if I look at that smut and if I have sex outside of marriage. I think she is being intolerant, after all, I was born this way and I was brought up this way!

My question is this: Can I be a look at porno and have sex outside of marriage and still be a Christian? Isn’t it part of God’s grace that my sins, if they are sins, are covered? Didn’t David and Solomon have multiple wives? What say you?

A. Dulterer

Dear A.D.

I am sorry that you have been misguided. I understand that you were born this way, as were we all. You see, we all have a disease from the time we are born, it is called sin. It manifests itself in all different ways, and the apostle Paul states that we are not only born into it, but we are enslaved by it. So you are caught in the trap of sin, under the righteous condemnation of God, and you need to be saved.

You say you are a Christian, you are no Christian. You may go to church, you may have a Christian wife, you may even teach Sunday School. But going to church makes you a Christian like going to Burger King makes you a Whopper. The Bible is clear; that sexual sin will keep you from the kingdom of God:

All sin is a reflection of you heart condition. You need a new heart!

1 Corinthians 6:9-10
9Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, (πόρνος pornos) nor idolaters εἰδωλολάτρης eidōlolatrēs) , nor adulterers (μοιχός moichos), nor effeminate (μαλακός malakos), nor abusers of themselves with mankind,(ἀρσενοκοίτης arsenokoitēs) Nor thieves (κλεπτης kleptēs), nor covetous (πλεονέκτης pleonektēs), nor drunkards (μέθυσος methusos), nor revilers (λοίδορος loidoros), nor extortioners (ἅρπαξ harpax), shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Okay so, this pronouncement is very clear by the apostle Paul. If any of these describe you, you are in big trouble.

• fornicators is translated from Greek pornos from which we get pornography. Jesus said if you even look with lust at a woman you have committed adultery in your heart. If you are looking at pornography, that is, photos or movies that cause you to lust after another person, you are guilty of this. This word also describes one who has sex outside of marriage, even one who has sex with another man or commits sodomy. It sounds like this word describes your whole lifestyle! The Word of God says you will not inherit the kingdom of God! You better turn to God and ask Him to save you!
• Idolaters eidōlolatrēs are those who worship other Gods, or place something as an item of worship before the God of heaven. It is also worshiping a false picture or image of God. You claim that not only you are a Christian, but that God’s grace will cover your continued sin. That is idolatry, because you are not worshiping the God of the Bible. God’s Word should clearly tell you that you are not a Christian. You may go to church and have a Christian wife, but you are no Christian. You worship a false god that allows you to continue in your sin, even giving approval of it.
• adulterermoichos Which is one who is unfaithful sexually to a spouse. You clearly have already violated this physically, however, many men have who are not even married. Jesus says whoever looks after a woman to lust after her is guilty already of adultery in his heart. A man that stores pornography on his phone and computer and looks at it to lust is committing adultery already. God has a higher standard, so even those just guilty of thinking about it have offended God’s holiness.
• effeminate malakos As translated, does not seem to have much meaning to us, but it describes a catamite, that is, an effeminate youth who was kept (in Paul’s time) to have a sexual relationship with an older man. It is a word that describes a male who submits his body to unnatural lewdness. It is a word that describes a submissive homosexual, and as such, should not concern you, but some modern day homosexuals look at their effeminate mannerisms as a reason that they were in fact born a homosexual. It is simply not the case; though we all have been born into sin.
• abusers of themselves with mankind, arsenokoitēs is a special word translated as a phrase that Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit made to describe this sin. It is made up of two Greek words, arsen which is translated man, and koites which is translated bed, and it means one that has sex with a male as with a female. Now, homosexuality does not seem to be your problem, but you did use many of their claims as far as justifying their sin, like ‘I was born this way’ or ‘I can’t help who I love’. Many homosexuals even like to believe, like you, that God approves of their sin, even that they can be a Christian while living in their sin. God’s Word says they will not inherit the Kingdom of God either.

Well, I could go on, but you did write about fornication, and these sins listed by Paul cover all of the possible ways in which men transgress that law. The clear answer is no, a person whose lifestyle is marked with sexual (or any other) sin cannot be a Christian. That is, unless he turns to Christ to save him! Look at the good news at the end of this passage!

11Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.

The people (the church at Corinth) to whom Paul was writing used to be the very things that Paul just described. That means that they used to be a fornicator just like you! But when they turned to Christ, that is they left the way they were walking and changed directions (repentance) He changed them. He washed them clean of their sins, he gave them power to over come their sins, and declared them not guilty of their sins! This was done in the nae of Jesus Christ and by the power of His Spirit! Because of Jesus, in the true church today, there are genuine converts who used to be fornicators, just like you. Now they have been washed, sanctified, and justified by Jesus and they no longer are those things and they no longer do those things.I know; I was a fornicator also.

I urge you, AD, to leave your wicked way and turn to Christ alone for your salvation. He can save you, He can cleanse you. He will make you a new creature in Christ.

Love,

John